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This past week, I learned that a couple I’m very close to lost their only child, a 21 month old boy, who died tragically and unexpectedly in his sleep. I grew up with this boy’s father and mother and they are very close to my heart.

Today, I attended the memorial service which impacted me very greatly. I watched my friends grieve more deeply than I have ever witnessed and, at the same time, celebrate the joy of the life of their baby boy. You might think it odd that ultimate sorrow and transcendent joy could coexist like this. But it’s actually quite natural when you possess a deep and abiding faith in Jesus Christ as my friends do.

The pastor presiding over the service even spoke about it. He called it chaos. It’s the same dichotomy that runs to the core of our Christian faith, which is at heart a belief in a God who suffered unspeakable agony to die on a cross in order to bring about unending joy through His resurrection. Our God embraced this chaos in order to save us from death. Today, I saw my friends, and to a lesser degree myself, embrace the same chaos in order to let God save us from the pain, and tragedy, and unspeakable sorrow death brings.

I highly recommend you read my friend’s blog post from today, entitled “Our Hope.” See for yourself the power that a strong faith in Christ brings to the chaos that surrounds us. If you don’t have such a faith, now might be a good time to consider it.

I’m a pretty serious student of the financial markets these days. The other morning on CNBC, they were doing a little shtick where they were simulating a poker game with some big name hedge fund managers. All the while they were (sort of) playing, they were discussing the similarities between poker and trading. These hedge fund managers had also done well in some professional poker tournaments.

This little vignette solidified something I’d been thinking about for a while. That is, everyone is a gambler.

When you study the markets and people who make a business of trading in the markets, you slowly become aware that everything is simply a game of probabilities, risk and reward (for more of my thoughts on this, you can check out a post a wrote a while back specifically on this subject). These very same principles that allow an individual (or a professional) to make money in the markets also guide the games of chance at the casinos. They also guide pretty much every other decision we make every day of our lives.

When asked about the similarities of trading and playing poker, one of the hedge fund guys explained that in both cases, you are presented with a certain amount of information, but there is always a piece of information that you don’t have. You have to make a decision on how to handle that missing piece of information based on your understanding of the information you do have. You make a decision, place your bets, and hope for the best.

Honestly, can you say that this is different than anything else in life? There is no certainty about tomorrow. We are always dealing with an incomplete information set and making decisions the best we can based on what we know. When it gets right down to it, we always have to move forward, choose our path, and hope for the best.

This is why I say everyone is a gambler. So, why do we consider gambling to be “bad”? What makes tying up hundreds of thousands of retirement dollars in equity-based mutual funds (which can lose their value) any more virtuous than hitting the casinos? Or, what about the person who invests a large portion of their net worth into a new business venture — are they somehow more noble than the blackjack player? I have some thoughts, but I’d like to hear yours first in the comments. What do you think?

It strikes me how we, as a people, are so reactionary. A bridge collapses somewhere in the US, and all of a sudden everyone becomes concerned with bridge safety. Now, it’s not a bad thing to be concerned with bridge safety, but all of the effort and attention that bridge safety will now receive will have to pull attention and effort from some other area. That is, until another tragedy happens.

It seems to me that if we could ever learn that it is impossible to predict the future, and that extreme events will inevitably happen from time to time, we could all become a little more tempered and controlled in our reactions. This would enable us to maintain a consistent and calm approach across the gamut of our circumstances, rather than throwing bursts of energy here and there based on the emergency of the moment.

I think this applies to so many things in life. It affects the way we view politics, finance, the economy and other issues on a mass scale, but I also think it applies to individuals as well. Couldn’t we all learn to better control our reactions when we encounter extreme circumstances? If we could, wouldn’t it help us to maintain better balance and consistency in our lives?

So, I have always had a problem with restaurants that serve enormous portions. I have always believed it was simply a way to increase revenue by providing too much food to justify charging more for each meal. Since all of the other costs to the restaurant are consistent (personnel, facilities … etc.) adding a little extra food and jacking up the price can bring in more revenue per person.

Yesterday, I was listening to NPR while driving and caught the tail-end of an interview with some guy who is writing a book about obesity in America. I didn’t hear much, but I heard him talk about this restaurant problem, and he mentioned that Ruby Tuesdays had recently tried to reduce their portion sizes in response to the health concerns and obesity concerns in America. However, the backlash from their customers was so overwhelming that they had to return to the larger portions after just a short time.

This interested me, so I did a little search and found this article on Time Magazine from last year which talks about the issue as well. Interesting read.

Anyway, this just made me realize — the problem isn’t completely the fault of the restaurants. I mean, these chains are big businesses and they have to make money. They are just giving people what they want. So, the responsibility is on us. It’s not so bad bad to take advantage of big portions if we were all somehow disciplined enough to take half of it home for later or split with someone else at the table. Or, we can choose to frequent the local places, who generally serve more appropriate portion sizes. We just all have to get over our “price per pound” mentality and think about what is actually a reasonable amount of food to eat at one sitting.

Last Sunday, I was waiting for our worship service to start and hanging out with all of the musicians who were playing and singing with me that day. We got into a very spirited conversation about the definition of music. Someone asked me what my definition of music is, and I didn’t have a good answer. But, I’ve been thinking about it and here’s what I’ve come up with:

“Music is a type of art that is primarily experienced through the sense of hearing.”

Essentially, I think that music is simply a subset of a larger category of “art.” The distinguishing characteristic of music is that it is aural in nature. This means that I believe it is possible for anything that is aural to be a part of music — instruments, spoken word, recordings of sounds from the physical world. Anything that you can hear can be music, but that doesn’t mean everything you hear is music. What makes the distinction? Well, it has to be art before it can be music.

Of course, this definition raises a deeper question — “what is art?” So, I had to think about that one for a while and here’s what I came up with:

“Art is any physical expression that is assigned meta-physical meaning by those who observe it.”

If you read the words of a legal contract, the meaning of that contract is likely confined to the meaning of the words themselves. However, if you read a poem, often you may find meaning in that poem that goes beyond the meaning of each individual word. That is meta-physical meaning — and I believe it is a requirement for a physical expression to be considered art.

However, I believe it is subjective. So, if I find meta-physical meaning in something, I can consider it art, even if no one else does. Well, then, isn’t the definition worthless? Not at all, because it is in the sharing of our interpretations with others that we, over time, come to concensus about what is generally considered to be art. There no absolutes of “this is art and this is absolutely not,” but there are general practices and standards which give us the ability to categorize, interpret and discuss art effectively.

That is what people mean when they say something is “more of an art than a science.” That is, they mean it’s not black and white, on or off — rather, there are many, many shades of gray.

Why do we teach our children that “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me?” I guess we want to make them believe that the mean words other people say don’t matter? That they can’t hurt?

The problem is, it’s just not true.

Words are way more powerful than sticks and stones. Your arm gets broken and it heals in about 6 months or so. Your spirit gets crushed by verbal abuse and you may never recover.

I don’t think we’re doing kids a favor by teaching them that words can’t hurt them. I think it just makes it harder for them to deal with the pain because now they have adults telling them that they shouldn’t be feeling the pain in the first place. Plus, it does nothing to help them understand how powerful their own words are, and how hurtful or helpful their own words can be depending on how they use them.

Why not just tell them the truth? It hurts, but it is the truth.

We went to see “The Fantasticks” again last weekend, this time at the OKC Repertory Theatre company.  The company was pretty good, and of course the material itself is phenomenal. I was again marveled at the depth of insight contained in this script.

If you’ve never heard of The Fantasticks, it is the longest running musical theatre production of all time. I believe it has run for something like 42 years in New York. When you see it, you can understand why because its story is a metaphor about innocence versus experience that is timeless, ageless and universal.

Here are the lyrics to the production’s opening and closing song, “Try to Remember” (emphasis mine). Consider these and you’ll see what I mean:

Try to remember the kind of September
When life was slow and oh, so mellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When grass was green and grain was yellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When you were a tender and callow fellow.
Try to remember, and if you remember,
Then follow.

(Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow,
Follow, follow, follow, follow)

Try to remember when life was so tender
That no one wept except the willow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
That dreams were kept beside your pillow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
That love was an ember about to billow.
Try to remember, and if you remember,
Then follow.

(Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow,
Follow, follow, follow, follow)

Deep in December, it’s nice to remember,
Although you know the snow will follow.
Deep in December, it’s nice to remember,
Without a hurt the heart is hollow.
Deep in December, it’s nice to remember,
The fire of September that made us mellow.
Deep in December, our hearts should remember
And follow.

Today, I am beginning my first blogging series. This is a topic I have wanted to discuss for a while and I believe my thoughts will extend beyond a single post.

I believe that most believers would agree that sin is not a laughing matter. We don’t laugh about most sins. You know, the bad ones like murder and stealing and adultery. Those are serious sins, right?

There is one sin, though, that I notice people tend to joke about regularly. That sin is … are you ready … wait for it …

Gluttony

How many times do you see someone sit down in front of a big plate of terribly unhealthy food and joke about how unhealthy it is? We say things like “man, this is a heart attack on a plate,” or “boy, I really shouldn’t be eating this.” Then, of course, we go right ahead and eat it all.

I know I am just giving a few examples but my point here is that, in general, a lot of people laugh about the fact that they are doing something that’s wrong. It just seems that we don’t take the matter very seriously.

I guess I really got motivated to start up this series when I read this post from the About Oklahoma City blog. Evidently, I am living in one of the most unfit and unhealthy cities in the nation where obesity is rising and things are just all around bad.

Obesity is a problem, but that’s really not what I want to focus on in this series. I think the bigger issue is self-control and moderation, because that’s the problem I see with gluttony. It’s certainly detrimental to one’s health, but it’s even more detrimental to one’s spirit as it is evidence of a lack of self-control. And I think that we all need to be more disciplined and have more self-control, regardless of our waist size.

I want to be clear that I’m talking to myself just as I’m talking to everyone else. I personally struggle with this issue a great deal and that’s why I feel it is so important. People often look at me and say “you’re so skinny, you don’t need to watch what you eat.” I think that is just more evidence of the problem, because you don’t have to be really large to struggle with self control.

I love to eat. Eating makes me feel good and so when I feel bad I often want to eat for comfort. I go beyond eating enough to be filled and move into eating just because it tastes good or feels good. Every time I work hard at eating right, there is huge temptation to not eat right. Why is it so hard? How do we overcome it?

Well, I think the first step is to acknowledge that it’s a problem and, unfortunately, I think that’s the step where most of us fail. After all, if we joke about it or laugh about it, we are not taking it very seriously. It’s as if we are saying we know it is something we should do, but we don’t think it’s that big of a deal so we’re not going to work hard at it.

I guess that’s really the point of post number one. There will be more on this topic to come.

Last week, I wrote a guest post on churchcommunicationspro.com called “The only two things your church website needs.”  This week, I posted a follow up article called “Why church leaders must blog on their church websites,” where I drill down into more detail about blogging, what it really is, and why I believe it is one of the only types of content you really need on your church website.

Thanks again to Cory Miller for giving me an audience on his site.  Writing these articles has really made me think about some things I hadn’t thought about in a while.

My five year old son got a splinter in his hand while playing in the backyard.

“We have to get that out,” I told him. “It might hurt a little, but then it will be all over and it will make you better. If we don’t take it out, it will never heal.”

Perfectly reasonable, right? Yet the five year old mind didn’t quite understand. There was screaming and crying. Oh, how there was screaming.

I got so frustrated as I was working with all my might to hold his hand still and take out the splinter. I could see the end of it right there and all I had to do was grab it with the tweasers, pull it out, and it would be over. But no matter how hard I tried to convince him, he continued to fight it.

1. When we get hurt, it often takes an even more painful experience to remove the source of the hurt so that we can heal.
2. Our minds sometimes can’t comprehend the idea that we have to go through that hurt in order to get better.
3. I’m thankful that our Heavenly Father has perfect patience with us as we fight, struggle, cry and scream against His loving efforts to heal us.