Sticks and stones …
Why do we teach our children that “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me?” I guess we want to make them believe that the mean words other people say don’t matter? That they can’t hurt?
The problem is, it’s just not true.
Words are way more powerful than sticks and stones. Your arm gets broken and it heals in about 6 months or so. Your spirit gets crushed by verbal abuse and you may never recover.
I don’t think we’re doing kids a favor by teaching them that words can’t hurt them. I think it just makes it harder for them to deal with the pain because now they have adults telling them that they shouldn’t be feeling the pain in the first place. Plus, it does nothing to help them understand how powerful their own words are, and how hurtful or helpful their own words can be depending on how they use them.
Why not just tell them the truth? It hurts, but it is the truth.
November 30th, 2007 at 9:05 pm
I think words can hurt everyone, but we can heal from those hurts too. Maybe the saying is to encourage that healing.
Otherwise, we would all be just ‘broken’. I think encouraging words are to help with healing.
Am I missing the point?
November 30th, 2007 at 9:24 pm
It just seems that the little rhyme is trying to gloss over the hurt by saying “don’t worry about that because words can’t hurt you.” Seems that it would be better to acknowledge the hurt, talk about it, deal with it, and discuss just how powerful words really are, instead of trying to deny it. I think that’s a better path toward healing.
November 30th, 2007 at 9:46 pm
You’re right.
December 10th, 2007 at 5:37 pm
I agree, Tim. Words are extremely hurtful because you can’t take them back. I also agree that we should be honest with our children and talk to them about their words and how they use them. In my almost 50 years, I’ve found that people who are name-callers are usually people who are very insecure and unsure of their place. They say hateful things to others in order to build themselves up. If our children can learn to understand this, it will greatly help them when others speak unkindly to them.
November 12th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
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